Personalities

Sorry it's been a while!

I've been thinking a lot lately about personalities. It is interesting to me to watch how people with different personality types than mine handle situations. Most of the time I don't think there is a right or wrong way to handle situations... just different ways. And that's okay and even good.

But when do we go to far? I mean, when is it wrong to explain away someone's actions by saying "oh, that's just how their personality type handles things!"? Sometimes there is a right and a wrong, I believe. Sometimes we have to work past our tendencies and comfort zone in order to do the right thing. How do we know when that's the case?

I mean, the comfort zone of our personality is a good thing. God gave some of us a personality that tends to be louder and more outspoken and some of us a personality that tends toward being quiet and keeping to themselves. And that's good! We should embrace how God made us! I believe that fully and completely. For a long time I tried and wanted to change myself. I tend to be outspoken and loud (ha! understatement!) and I tried to be quieter... tried to be different. It didn't work! And that is because God has fashioned me how he wants me and I love that!

But (and it's a big one!) I cannot and should not use that as an excuse to be out of control with loudness or to be outspoken when there is a time to keep my mouth shut. Just because we tend toward something doesn't make it right to always be that way. Sometimes God calls us out of the comfort zone of our personality and asks the quiet person to be loud, the shy person to be outspoken, the outspoken person to keep their mouth shut. Sometimes we are to see the weaknesses in our personality tendencies and work through them and try to improve them. If we have a tendency to be unforgiving, we should work toward forgiveness or if we have a tendency toward bitterness we should work toward joy.

How do we know when to move out of our comfort zone? Well, when it comes to our tendencies toward sin or harmful thought processes... the answer is always. I tend toward laziness (I do!) and I have to continually work through that and purposefully try to overcome that. The same is true for gossip, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc. We should always be moving outside our comfort zone in those areas (and more... that was a very short list).

But what if there isn't necessarily a choice that is sin? Some choices just aren't black and white... there isn't a right or wrong. Sometimes it's a choice between good and better or better and best. Sometimes it might not be wrong to speak up, but it would be better to stay quiet. Sometimes it might not be wrong to say yes to serving in an area, but it might be best for your family if you say no. Sometimes is just not simple. So, how do we know what's right?

We pray. Yep. It's simple.

But (and it's another big one) sometimes we don't get an answer... sometimes we pray and we still don't know what to do.

Know what I think we should do then?

Whatever we want. Yep. Sometimes God just lets us pick what we want.

And in those times, a lot of us agonize over figuring out what God is telling us to do when, in reality, He is telling us... He's telling us that He wants us to have the desires of our heart and we should do what we want.

Boy, I hope I don't miss out on a lot of blessings because I'm agonizing over a choice where this is the case.

Being Teachable

Most of the time I think I'm teachable. I mean, when I want to learn more about something I read and study and ask people all the while keeping my mind open to what I am reading or learning about. And even if I'm not trying to learn something new, if a situation comes up I am willing to ask for, and listen to, advice from other people. I learn from situations in my life and I learn from situations in other people's lives.

But some people accuse me of being unteachable, unwilling to listen to reason, and stubborn. So, I'm typing out some thoughts to try to sort through it all.

--Sometimes I am unwilling to learn from somebody because they don't agree with me on certain things. I try not to do this, but I do. I can tend to discredit people in my mind and am no longer willing to learn from them... this is usually only over certain topics (those that are most important to me).. but it is still wrong. God can teach me through all types of people with all types of views.

--Sometimes I am unwilling to learn about a topic because I don't want to have to act on that knowledge. Lets face it... sometimes ignorance really is bliss. If I'm ignorant about something I don't have to act on it.

--Sometimes I am unwilling to learn from a situation where I have been hurt. I just want to forget about it and move on so I no longer have to feel the hurt. But it is always better to learn from these hurts... just don't want to sometimes.

--I tend to go to people last when I'm wanting to learn about something. I study, research, and read all I can before I talk to people. Not sure why... and I'm not sure if this is good or bad... but it's just the way I do things. Part of it is that I do not want to be ignorant about something if I'm the one who brings it up in a conversation.

The kicker for me, though, is finding the balance when I truly am being teachable but don't agree with the person teaching me. If someone comes to me and is trying to convince me of something, they accuse me of being unteachable when I do not agree with them in the end. Where is the balance here? And, in thinking through it, I think I do this to people too... if I believe I am right about something and am sharing with somebody and they leave the conversation thinking I'm wrong.... I have a tendency to believe they just had an unteachable heart. How do I know? Maybe they really did take everything in... and they just simply don't agree. People who are very passionate about certain things have tried to convince me they are right... and I have listened and prayed and read and considered... but in the end I just believe they are wrong. This isn't being unteachable... this is being confident in my beliefs, views, and convictions.

But how do being teachable and being confident balance? How do I prevent the confidence in my beliefs and convictions from becoming arrogance? How can I be sure of what I believe and still be teachable? Should I always be teachable?

Hmmmm.....

Awesome is the only word....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU8J5l1f5IU&feature=player_embedded

Not Cut Out for This....

I am not cut out for single motherhood! My husband is out of town this week and I do NOT like it at all. Part of it is that he is such an amazing, wonderful, helpful husband. He helps with the house and the kids and all the shuttling of children from one place to another. And he does all of that without complaining. Doing all of that by myself is hard... mostly the logistics of it... sitting at my older child's soccer practice with the babies is just not fun, and if my husband is here we can tag team and it's much easier.

But, really, I can handle that for a week at a time if I have to. It's not fun, but I can handle it. The part that is SO hard is that he is my best friend!! I love chatting with him about my day and his day and talking through decisions with him. It's just difficult for me not to have that. Neither of us are really phone people, so it's just not the same. I enjoy his company. I miss him!!!

He was not supposed to have as many trips as he does with his job. We thought he would have two per year (a week long each), but it's ending up being more like six trips per year. *sigh*

I know it's wimpy. Several friends of mine are military wives and moms and live without their husbands for months on end. I honestly don't think I could do it.

I miss my sweetie!!