Contentment

Contentment is a big word. I looked it up in the dictionary and the definition that stood out to me was 'being satisfied'. So, the question is... "Am I content?" "Am I satisfied?" "Do I have contentment?"

In short, yes. Most of the time, I do feel content. There are some moments and even some days where I go through the "I wants", but for the most part, I am content and satisfied.

What got me thinking about this is that show Wifeswap. It's not a show I normally watch, and it still isn't... but the other day I wasn't feeling good and was laying in bed watching tv and a rerun of Wifeswap came on, so I watched it. On that show, they have very extreme situations... and they pick extreme opposites, for ratings I'm sure.

But what if there was a real life opportunity for us to temporarily swap lives with someone else? The times that I struggle with contentment are when I look around at other people's lives and think that I want what they have. What if I could swap lives with these people for a few weeks and live their life? At the end of that time would I want to stay in their life, or would I want my life back?

I think we all have a fantasy life in our heads that would be our "ideal"... but we don't live in an ideal world and even what I consider the perfect life would have hardships and difficulties. So, recognizing that there is no such thing as the perfect life... I'll look at mine... the major areas in my life are:

--My husband - There is absolutely nothing I would change about him. He is not perfect and has his faults, but the things he has struggled with have contributed to the man that he is, and I love the man that he is, so I wouldn't change him. At all. He is simply amazing and is absolutely the perfect man for me. So, no way, no how would I change this area of my life.

--My children - They are hilarious! They are tons of work. They suck energy out of me and at the same time motivate me. Each of them is unique and amazing in their own way, and I cannot imagine my life without them. So, nope. Wouldn't change it.

--My "job" - I am a stay at home mom. And I'm not really stay at home mom material. I'm not that "type". There is a lot about my job that I don't like. But if I did anything else I would not have my time with my kids. Would having a job that paid money be something I'd want? We could use the money, for sure. But it just wouldn't be worth it. Time with my kids is more important to me. So, nope. Wouldn't change this either.

--My church - This has been an issue for me. We had a church that we fell in love with and where we grew a lot as Christians. For a long time we compared our other churches to that church, and that created discontentment. At the church we are at now, we struggled with discontentment for a while. But, now, we love it :) We truly have a family there. And... even when we were having some discontentment issues, we could not leave because of our wonderful relationships there, so I guess we must not have been that discontent. So, wouldn't change that either.

--My financial situation - This is the kicker. I'm not content with my financial situation. But (and this is a big but), it's my own fault. We got ourselves into debt early on and are paying the consequences now. And that's not the only contentment issue with money... I do admit that I look around and see all the "stuff" other people have and want it. I'd like to have a bigger house and a better van and extra money to spend on things. And when I look at our situation, a lot of it is because of our debt... but even after that is paid off, God is taking us to a place where we see that our money would be better spent on things other than the latest trendy purse or shoes. So, it has become obvious to me that my discontentment in this area is due to selfishness. I'm selfish. I admit it. God is working on me though :-)

--My relationship with God - I could write a lot about this and this post is already really long.. so I will just say that I am fully satisfied by Christ. I will also say that I am not fully satisfied by my level of commitment and obedience to Him. And, I could go on and on in explanation about this, but I won't right now... maybe another post :-)

So, if I really look at my life... Praise God!!!! He is awesome and amazing and it is only because of Him that I have the life I have. And I LOVE my life!!! :-)

Wifeswap? I think I'd want my life back. I wouldn't trade my life for anybody's life I know. And those things I look around and see in other people's lives that make me jealous or envious... not worth it. When it comes down to it, I'd rather live in my little house with my wonderful husband and my big family without cable and driving my old cars than have all the 'stuff' other people have and miss out on my amazing life.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me!

Now, this hasn't always been true, and it has been a struggle to get to this point, so I plan to share my journey in this area in the future...

So, until next time....